Why me?!

       From talking to and reading about other cancer patients and survivors, I know it's very common to ask, "Why me?" However, I think what many people are really asking is "How did I get cancer?", not, "Why?" This seems especially true for young adults. I mean, we're not supposed to have to worry about cancer for another thirty years, right?
       "Was it something in the water? The soil?" "Did I not eat enough vegetables? Not exercise enough?" "Do I live too close to the power lines? Was it all those plastic water bottles?"

       I happen to know how I got cancer. I tested positive for a genetic mutation that increases your risk of stomach cancer to 80% and makes it especially more likely in younger adults. This is called Hereditary Diffuse Gastric Cancer and the gene is CDH1. My paternal grandmother died of stomach cancer at age 45 and her father died of stomach cancer at a young age as well. This genetic mutation is very rare and only 1/3 of those suspected of having it test positive. For more information about CDH1you can visit http://www.nostomachforcancer.org or for more information about stomach cancer in general, including the story of someone else with Hereditary Diffuse Gastric Cancer who was diagnosed at age 20, listen to http://www.stupidcancer.org/show/308/
     My testing positive for this genetic mutation led to other family members being tested. My father tested positive and subsequently had his stomach removed preemptively. This is the recommendation because it's so difficult to catch stomach cancer at an early stage. Hereditary Diffuse Gastric Cancer is especially hard to catch because it grows in the lining of your stomach, making it impossible to see on a PET or CT scan and very easy to miss even when biopsies are taken during an endoscopy.  Three other relatives have also tested positive and are weighing their options and three more now need to be tested.

    So that's my "How", which brings us to the "Why me?"
    Since being diagnosed and finding out there was a genetic cause, I've struggled not only with concern for my family, but also with the "Why me". I've read about other families with a history of stomach cancer that is devastating. People write about having watched five or six family members succumb to this disease before the mutation was identified and testing became available.  Although devastating for these families, their history put them on somebody's radar or increased their personal research, so when testing became available, they were ready. But in my family, only two cases of stomach cancer and the fact that my dad was alive and well never raised questions or concerns, even though I've seen multiple GI specialists in my life due to various digestive problems.
     Now I would never wish that one or more of my family members would have been cursed with this disease even if it had led to an earlier diagnosis or preemptive surgery for me. (In my imagination, we have some long lost relatives, who I don't know and I don't care about, who contact us to let us know we're at risk and to go for testing.) But it still brings up, "Why me?" Why am I the one to have this disease? Why am I the reason we discovered as a family that we were at risk? Why didn't I have the opportunity for preventive surgery? Why didn't we question our history and talk to a geneticist two years ago? Why me?

     Most people don't know how they got cancer. Although personally I think that the next few years will provide more and more people with a genetic explanation for their cancer, right now most folks are still left questioning power lines and water bottles. And as for the "why", maybe there is no answer.